How I Got Over: Healing from Depression and Psychosis to Find Joy In and Out of the Ring

WWE legend Ettore “Big E” Ewen chronicles his meteoric career in wrestling and entertainment—and the private, unseen mental health battle that shadowed his success

At twenty, Ettore Ewen didn’t expect to make it to twenty-five. And if he did, he expected to spend the rest of his life on antidepressants and antipsychotics, in and out of psych wards. His depression was a timebomb, and the last thing he expected was a successful career in professional wrestling as it ticked away. In this unfiltered memoir, Ewen shares his extraordinary path to becoming the fourth Black WWE champion in company history and joining the celebrated tag team The New Day—and his parallel path through the mental health showdown that started in childhood.

As he navigated a strict upbringing in Florida, frequent school changes, and a difficult social life, Ewen grappled with depressive thoughts and body image issues as early as nine years old. When his passion for football turned into a full-ride scholarship to the University of Iowa, the pressures of success, school, and injury continued to build, transforming Ewen’s depression into horrifying and uncontrollable hallucinations. And when his career took off, Ewen continued to be rocked with the ups and downs of his diagnosis, self-loathing, and unpredictable treatment journey even as he made a name for himself as Big E, wrestling with his own demons as he entered the wrestling limelight.

Detailing his early struggle to find a ringside persona, career-threatening injuries, and the unforgettable bonds he forged in the industry, How I Got Over offers a vulnerable and ultimately hopeful story of Ewen’s intertwined odysseys through fame and mental health, and a testament to the power of resilience, community, and self-acceptance.