Poly Theology: In Praise of Unnatural Love

The first constructive theology of polyamory—and an invitation to embrace an unnatural, unrepressed Christianity.

Christianity and monogamy have been a match made in heaven, at least according to official church leaders. Theologians like Tertullian and Augustine argued for the normativity of monogamous marriage—a tradition that has remained firmly in place for centuries.

But monogamy is not just a religious idea. Many have even argued that monogamy is hardwired into human nature itself. More recently, some proponents of polyamory and ethical nonmonogamy have gone the opposite direction by arguing that monogamy is a myth and humans are naturally nonmonogamous. Both defenders of monogamy and advocates of nonmonogamy have sought to lay claim to the authority of nature to support their positions.

In Poly Theology, David W. Congdon points out how ironic it is that Christians—who claim to follow a man resurrected from the dead—have invested so much energy in conforming to what people regard as “natural.” Christianity is a deeply unnatural faith. Why should Christian ethics be any less unnatural? According to Congdon, the competitiveness and exclusivity associated with monogamy stand in uneasy tension with Christianity’s message of universally abundant grace, God’s noncompetitive transcendence, Christ’s two natures, and his ubiquitous sacramental presence.

Without excluding monogamy or making nonmonogamy normative, Congdon argues for a capacious and inclusive account of polyamory that makes space for all kinds of loves. Congdon challenges Christianity’s elevation of suffering and self-denial, arguing for a theology of pleasure and compersion in which another’s happiness does not compete with one’s own—but rather both flow from an original abundance.

Poly Theology is an invitation to a sex-positive, pleasure-positive vision of the Christian life.